Harnessing rat power

The Daymo has a large, successful and prosperous rat population. Trapping them has been a source of harmless amusement for the lads around here since Adam was a boy. There's a lot of expertise involved, involving bait, snares and cages. The challenge has always been how to turn this knowledge and effort into a profitable enterprise. There's not much of a market for rats, dead or alive.They are neither ornamental nor tasty.

A few summers ago, some of the Daymo's more criminally inclined geniuses came up with a novel idea. They would wait near traffic lights for lone women in cars. As the weather was good, these ladies would often have left a window or a sunroof open. A few inches was plenty enough.

As soon as the car stopped at the lights, the lads would insert a selection of live rats. The rats, being rats, would squeal and jump around - as is their nature. The women, being women, would squeal and jump around - as is THEIR nature. 

Drop a rat onto a woman's lap, and nine times out of ten she won't be pleased about it. She'll want to put distance between herself and the rat, pronto.

Anyway the clear consensus among the women affected, was that the thing to do was to throw open the car door, jump out, and run away. This left the way clear for the lads to do a bit of looting and pilfering - as is THEIR nature.

People started to notice and comment. The general feeling was that aspects of this new local enterprise initative were commendable, but generally that it was a public nuisance, and needed to be discouraged. The Cruelty to Animals people had some objection, and had the biggest impact on putting the kibosh on the thing. It being the summer, there wasn't much else happening, and new cases were in the paper every day. A campaign against it got going. 

The Garda Síochána, stirred into action, made a study of the matter. Eventually they issued a statement, recommending what should be done:

'Our advice to motorists is to carry on, and take your chances with the rats.'

There's no better present for St Patrick's Day than a copy of It's a Desperate Life,available now from Amazon, etc., or through http://peterhammondauthor.com